Would you consider being a surrogate? I don't want myself, so I find it hard to relate to people who really, really *want* children. Intellectually, I can sympathize with wanting something in your heart but being denied by your biology. I also believe that there are enough people on the planet, and that we're not taking good enough care of the that are already here. That being said, say there's a couple you know who want to have a biological child of their own. They supply the egg and sperm, you supply the oven. Would you consider it?

nope. I would never be able to give the baby up after bonding for 9 months.

I wouldn't be able to surrender the child.

Ya know, I never wanted either until I held my niece when she was 7 months old. She was like this perfect little person and I fell head over heels in love with her. I never did have , though, but I dunno, I might have been a surrogate for the right couple - close friend or family. Not for hire by a stranger.

nope but i wouldn't consider being an egg donor either. i have a coworker who is doing it right now and her first "" are being born soon. she'll never be able to meet them but she knows enough about them to want to know them. heartbreaking.

my friend donated eggs She has 10 "egg babies" (her term) and is in contact with several of them. Unfortunately, the hormones she got before the extraction procedure messed her up, and she's been in and out of the hospital for years with ob-gyn issues.

Only for one... I would never have done it for anyone but one person who is my cousin that raised me... after my mom passed she was always right here by my side through everything. A year after my mom died she had to go in for an emergency hysterectomy. They froze some of her eggs. x years latter I'm a mom of my own two children and I looked at it as it would be the greatest give I could ever give her. She was my angel after I lost my mom... We tried x months after I had my youngest son but come to find out all her eggs were damaged and couldn't be used for the surrogacy... I would have done it for her but couldn't use my own eggs... so we never went through with it cause she said that if she was going to use someone else’s eggs then she might as well adopt.

I think not and then I think of a few of my nearest, dearest loves. If they asked me to, I would give it earnest consideration. In this circumstance, I know that I would be a big part of this child's life after birth. But why don't they adopt? Or why don't I have my child, and they be a part of its life? Why do they need to have their own? I can't give an absolute "No" answer, but it would raise a lot of questions I would need to have answered.

I'm still sorting out why I want to give birth rather than adopt. I want to raise children, but do they need to be from my eggs, my body? It's complicated, and I need yet to do a lot of searching inside myself for the answer.

I can tell you this Try telling an adoptive mom... After three to four months of x-x hours average sleep, the worrying, the doctors visits, the more worrying about everything, the first little smile out of all the little smiles that person is going to make in their life, the love, the everything. ...that she's not that baby's "real" mom. Hah, you better jump back about x feet and RUN! Moms are moms are moms...and I know without a doubt that if you adopted it wouldn't matter one bit if that little one has your nose...cause she'll have your heart...and eventually your cell phone...then your credit card... :)

true :) Thanks for the perspective.

I can tell you, that I raised three sons. One bio, one step and one adopted. Each one owns my heart completely. I have to say that the dynamics of our relationships are different. But that is based on their individual personalities not how they came into my life.

Thanks for sharing, QwazyKat I don't doubt that any little being I put energy into loving will have all of my love. It's great to hear such is the case from someone who has felt that. x months of nurturing and growing life inside of me, and feeling each day what that would be like is an experience difficult to pass up. Yet, the more I think of how many people in this world need love, the more adoption resonates.

I know one couple who've tried for years to have a xnd child, their first was a blessing. I've thought if they ever said they'd be looking for a surrogate, I'd offer. They are so loving and caring to their child and to mine - I wouldn't think twice. Now for money or total strangers, never.

I would I think that some of the posts speak with a language that implies that if a woman is able to give up a child, then there is something wrong with her. It assumes a certain emotional lacking, inhumanity even. Some women are aware and conscious that the child was never theirs. They have made a decision and understand the ramifications of it. Stating otherwise implies that women cannot make a choice about their lives that doesn't become completely upended once a "tiny bundle of joy" enters their field of view. I don't mean to be accusatory - I am just tired of women being framed as completely subservient to the need to be a mother (especially in cases of surrogates). Also, watch the slippery slope: women are emotionally unable to give up a child after x months of bonding, but their decision to abort a fetus is emotionally sound should it happen before the x-month deadline?

I see your point... ...but I'm trying to frame this from the perspective of women being able to make a decision, and being able to stick to that decision regardless of the biological bonding that might occur. And, yes, personally I think adoption is the way to go.