When it rains, it pours This morning I was in a minor car accident. This little old man ran the stop sign and hit me in the passenger side of my car. No one was hurt. My first thought was to be angry, but the look on this mans face made me feel bad for him. It got me thinking about what his thoughts are. He said something about them taking away his license because of his age. I said, oh, they won't do that to you. I know there comes an age when you shouldn't be driving, but how it must be a very big concern to lose your independence. He did recieve a ticket, which I felt really bad for, but I'm glad we're all physiy okay. Just thankful for all I have, despite the difficult times I've been going through lately. Wishing everyone here a very good week ahead of you!

You're so nice I'm glad you're okay.

I'm not always so nice but............ this little old man was so upset and panicked that I couldn't get angry at him. All I could do was feel bad for him.

i'm sorry that happened to you, though if he does lose his license it is probably a good thing. i've been on the side of trying to revoke the licenses of three different elderly family members and you would be surprised how difficult it is to do. usually it's their commitment to continue to show up at the dmv to renew that keeps the process happening - the tests are so easy and they do not guarantee safe driving. two of my family members had dementia and one had significant cortical deterioration due to strokes resulting in spatial instability and in all cases we could not stop them from driving until we stopped their access to a car. the dmv just kept renewing! it's not until an accident happens that the family will be able to suspend the individual's license...and even in that case suspension will only happen if there's serious cause.

In the last years of his life my granddad had a pinstripe painted down the center of his hood. I asked about it (seemed odd to be concerned about flashiness of car when on a budget) and he explained that if he lined up the pinstripe with the road divider it kept him from weaving into oncoming traffic. I wasn't sure if he was joking. In retrospect, I think he wasn't.

That's funny! I'd be willing to bet that he wasn't joking. Ya have to admit, that was pretty creative of him!

woah, he lined it up with the road divider? doesn't that mean he'd be driving down the center of the road?

Hmmmm.... Yeah. He didn't drive on the British side of the street. So he either must have been joking, or he lined it up with the lane markings.

meaning he'd be driving in the middle of two lanes? Yikes.

Don't forget the parallax effect?

That has to be hard to do Trying to get elderly relatives to give up their driving must be tough. All of my grandparents are deceased and my parents disowned me years ago, after I came out, so I don't have the job of taking away their licenses and cars. I agree that he probably should stop driving, but I just can't help but feel sorry for him, and anyone else that needs to give up driving. It has to be very hard to lose that independence, but on the other hand, he could have killed someone.

I've had family on both sides A grandpa who hit a wall that smucked a person on the other side and had to have his license revoked, and just before Thanksgiving, my Mom was hit by a little old man trying to negotiate a store parking lot in the rain, in the dark. In both cases, there happened to be video surveillance available. Both were cited, but had there not been video, I'm not sure both would have resulted in each man having to give up his license. It's really too bad the process is so easy. I want my mom to be independent but I also know her reflexes are not as sharp as they once were. The situation could have easily been reversed. sux to watch the elders grow old and all that comes with it.

How is your Mom doing, ducks?

right on track :) Surgery went well! They flubbed up the transport to the SNF and she suffered some pain but now she's doing about x hours of rehab/therapy a day. She's been in good spirits, which is a total turn-a-round from the weeks leading up to the accident, so we're all happy :) thanks for asking!

yay! happy for you & your mom!

Oh ducks I do remember reading that your mom was hit and, if I re correctly, she needed surgery. I'm so sorry. How's she doing? Wishing her a speedy recovery!

My elderly Mom was almost killed by an (also elderly) man who drove his car right through the front window of a bank and well into the front lobby. After the accident, the man was not at all apologetic, and was even quoted as saying "It's a miracle I wasn't hurt - I guess I should get a bigger car" !!!! The police were quoted as saying he would not be cited, and I doubt he lost his license. The really effed up thing? He had been x'd from the bank a few weeks before for being abusive to the tellers, and many witnesses said they heard him accelerating before he hit the glass. MI, this is not to hijack your story - I'm sure you did the right thing. I once let someone off the hook by not reporting an accident because he didn't have insurance. I was on my way home from one of three shit service jobs when he hit me, and he didn't even look like he had that. He gave me his phone number, and did pay me back for the repairs. Anyway.... good times.

It is good that no-one was hurt and I'm glad for you and your kids! Thankful all around. But it's weird how people focus on themselves in crisis situations. I think the man should have been more concerned about you and your kids than about himself and his license. I guess adrenaline does funny things.

You know what I realize I just did is something that I try to be vigilant about in conversation. MIgirl told a story of something that just happened to her, something actually very traumatic, and I countered with a "Well, I...." story about my Mom. It wasn't intentional, but it made me think of this dynamic: when responding to someone elses story with your own similar tale, are you doing it to relate, to show you understand, or are you hijacking the conversation and making it all about YOU....? Food for thought.