Some Help? I'm really finding myself into extremely abusive BDSM style sex. Any tips on getting started in this lifestyle??

start realistic you might find it to be some pretty heavy shit if you just jump right in. Start tying up or getting tied up. Whatever you deal is.

heavy stuff i can handle, hard part is finding a partner that can handle it

The first thing to do is learn about it... read, think, fantasize and talk with like-minded individuals. Discover what is is you like and why. Read, read, read. You can't find a partner to explore with unless you know yourself, and have some kind of awareness of how you want it to be. Here is a good "cheerful" resource list!

hard to find.. a partner willing to go as far as i would like

Because it takes tie to build a relationship.. it's about trust and respect. No one should "go as far as one likes..or as far as they can" with a stranger. What do you know about BDSM and relationships? Are you just going by what you have read and seen in porn? or do you know what it's really like out there? How "real" people live?

Well said.

no i understand trust of course you would need trust. but i just cant ever find a partner that it doesnt freak out. any recommendations on finding someone that likes the lifestyle? new to the area so any places or events would be nice

How far do you want to go? The above advice still applies. And yes finding some one can be tough.

well.... i had a gf loooong time ago that wanted me to cut her during sex. thought it strange at first but noticed i liked it later. so stuff like that i guess. and i know that blood is very dangerous to mess with if you dont know someone so no one has to warn me about that lol.

Hmm. Check out Fetlife. and BME/IAM. I have seen people into that in both places.

thanks i appreciate it