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hallford
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2011-03-17 22-27-28 |
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I missed the point (re: bus nine) .
Let me take a moment to find escort or hooker near Lawson Heights PA be honest here. This is both for a particular person and those who are lonely and searching. Strangers move me. I'm not the most social creature in the world, but I like to people watch. I'm a psych major; it's what I do. I don't sit and analyze so much as wonder. The bus is an interesting phenomena to me. I'm usually biking, but when I ride the bus, I look around, study. Every day, we share tiny pieces of our lives with one another, and yet rarely seek out the rest of the puzzle. Strangers crowded on a bus makes me sad. We don't look at each other. We don't talk to each other. We even shift our bodies uncomfortably so as to avoid touching one another. Evolutionary theory says that our species survived in part because we are social. I spent so much of my life being chastised for being more or less a loner, and yet the bus reveals the same elements in others. Perhaps it is because in this time, it is difficult to find solitude or be apart. We live in a world where words like "social," "community," and "networking" are shoved down our throats so much that mental walls are necessary to avoid a breakdown. Maybe, though, we're all scared. I think, sometimes, when I am on the bus, about how afraid I am sometimes to talk to people, or how when I do, I still feel so small and fragile inside. I think of how I feel and wonder if it's how others feel. Still, I am the one looking around, studying faces, body language, wondering, wondering, wondering what their story is. And I smile, because I'm mostly a nice person, but it still stings a bit when most people just scowl in return. Then something happened that Saturday. I was studying people and saw you, looking back at me. That's what I noticed. You were the one person not looking at the floor or out a window or staring blankly at some arbitrary point in space. You were looking at me. So I looked again. Same thing. I smiled and you managed one too. We played this little game until I got off the bus. You sought me out here. I found you. You said I was pretty and it made my day. And then you stopped talking. Maybe you got busy or distracted. Maybe it was my inability to effectively utilize technology. Maybe my field scares you. Maybe you know more about me than I know about you. Whatever it is, I wanted you to know that you made my day a bit better. Don't stop smiling at strangers. Most will never smile back, but sometimes you cast light on their otherwise dreary day. I think of the bus and then I come here and read all these stories. People who felt too small inside or too stifled by the atmosphere missed their chances. What if the person on the bus was the one, and you missed your chance? What if they're not? Would it be so bad for all of us to stop being so lonely and at least give people a chance? I am a loner. I don't deny it. When I am out, I often can't help but wish I were at home, able to read or create or at least have my own space. Still, that does not mean that my heart does not ache. My bed would be more inviting, sometimes, if I could wake up in someone else's arms every once in a while. I am a psych major. It's what I do. I believe in humanism and the theories of Maslow and Rogers. I believe in the hierarchy of needs. I believe that we need doses of love in our life to help push us to self actualization. Please don't confuse this with needing someone to be a whole person. Love, in its many forms, has the ability to teach you a lot about yourself. It reveals to you your true connection to humankind and your role in society. We are beings of love, we need to give and receive. But instead, we swallow our words, turn up our music, and stare at our shoes. And go home and wonder what could have been.
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