Survey for ya :) What do YOU think? Did certain kinky stuff with BF for a long time, didn't like it. Have stopped. He's looking for someone new... after 5+ years, on THAT basis. Says I have taken away one of the things that he really liked the most. He HAS to have it. If I can't or won't, someone else out there will. Any thoughts?

? What is the question? Does he have the right to find a girlfriend that suits his needs? Well, yes.... Do you have the right not to do things you don't want to do? Of course... Is the thing he wants something you are not willing to negotiate on?

Three answers to three questions 1. He'd like me to wait around in case me cannot find another female who will do what he's looking for. 2. He says if I really loved him I'd WANT to please him and do this. 3. There is no negotiating on this point. For me OR him. I don't want to do it. He NEEDS it.

then my only questions back are... #1 - he wants you to wait around? Is that how he put it? What if you want to go outside the relationship to find less-kinky sex, would he be ok with that? #2 - that's just emotional blackmail, clear cut, black and white... He may not feel loved or whole if he can't be all that he wants to be, but making you prove YOUR love HIS way is still blackmail #3 - Are you willing to let him look elsewhere?

I cannot stop what he does.. whether I want him to stop or not!! So I either have to do the kinky thing he wants, or watch him walk.... or be here for him UNTIL he finds someone and WALKS..

how do you feel about that? Sounds like you're unhappy with it?

I really love him, and it would hurt me deeply to see him leave, but I cannot continue doing that ONE kinky thing....

holy canoli syracuse is a wild town

then you shouldn't And it sucks and hurts that it's some one you love, but clearly you've thought about the loss of the relationship, know how important it is to him, and have decided the boundary is too far for you... That's a good thing. Knowing yourself that well. Fact is, if he really loved you, he wouldn't make you or-else. I don't see any way in what you've described for this to work out for you guys...

x comments to x answers x. Um... are you OK with this? I mean, would you be OK with his getting his whatever from someone else? x. No. And blackmail isn't a really great demonstration of love on his part. x. So... it seems your choices are either a) let him get it somewhere else and keep you anyway, or b) each of you move on to someone more appropriate. I'd vote for b), but it's not my choice to make. But I think even if you choose a), he's going to eventually move on anyway (or you will, out of hurt or jealousy).

Yeah... jinx, huh?

Forget loving him... love yourself. What is best for YOU? Oh, so now you're back up? Sounds like he needs to grow up. I think that based on those three answers, I would be packing my bags, or asking him to pack his own.

He says it this way: x. Shouldn't be here. It's not true. x. He never said "If you LOVE me..." x. This one is like I already put it to you. He says I slanted the whole questiona. x_O

Better off I think you ceased doing those "things" for a reason. If he can't accept that, then apparently he can't accept you. Perhaps it's time to re-evaluate your relationship.

Time to move on. and I mean you.